Politically Correct, Sir

There were some news items today on AOL's homepage that really made me nervous.

A music teacher was fired because she told a kid to hit himself on the head with a drum mallet to show him not to hit the drums too hard. Where's the harm in that? Oh that's right, there's NONE. It's not like she whacked the kid on the head with a bat or anything that could cause any damage. Everyone, take pencil or pen and hit the top of your head with it as hard as you can. Did that hurt? No! Should a teacher lose her job because of such traumatic undertakings? Absolutely not. Fairly soon elementary and junior high school teachers will be replaced with robots that will just sit there and read out of the textbook, making sure that every child is "learning" the correct material. Heaven forbid we should learn life lessons in school.

Didn't anyone see Mr. Holland's Opus? He was hammering that football player on the head with a mallet so he could feel the beat. Sometimes teachers use alternate teaching methods. We won't have any of those when the robots are teaching our kids.

You know what? In real life, that kid will grow up and joke about how a teacher made him hit himself on the head, if he can even remember the incident, and it will just be something funny that happened to him as a child. In crazy life, that kid will grow up and look back and think, "Gee, that poor woman lost her job because I was a total pansy."

Another man is getting jail time because he was making out with his girlfriend on an airplane. Huge threat to society. What's that? Other passengers weren't comfortable around them? You KNOW WHAT? I'M NOT COMFORTABLE SITTING ON AN AIRPLANE NEXT TO A FAT MAN THAT SMELLS BAD! Put him in jail, too. And that little girl that's screaming? Jail. How about that guy on his cell phone that's talking too loud? Kill him. And that guy taking a nap with one of those little blue plane pillows? Yeah, he's making me uncomfortable because I don't have one of those and this is a seven hour flight and I can't get to sleep and he can! JAIL.

Look out for that man kissing that woman. He's definitely a terrorist. Oh yeah, and the steward told them "to stop," and he made "threats." I'm sure they were casual sarcastic remarks, or something like, "Hey leave me alone I don't tell you what to do!" Which would have been totally in bounds.

This is insanity.